– Contributed by Wee C
I know tonight should be a celebration, but to be 100 per cent honest, I’m at a complete and utter loss. For the past 365 days I have been on an unexpected journey, heading to a destination I was never quite sure of, with pitstops in places that rarely appeared on my map of life. And tonight, I’ve arrived. But like any incredible trip, parting is always bitter sweet; the memory of an incredible adventure behind you, the return to normalcy in front of you. The trouble (and beauty) is, I’m not who I was when I left.
30 Things has defined me for the past year. It’s what I talked about over coffee with old friends. It’s what I’ve told new people about when I meet them. It’s where so much of my energy has been directed. It’s how I’ve overcome personal challenges, how I’ve learned to live life in greater balance, how I’ve learned to have fun. But, perhaps most of all, it’s how I’ve learned to like myself, to not feel disdain every time I open my mouth, to feel comfortable in my own skin…to be comfortably uncomfortable.
So tonight, as I finished the last item on my list (a “thing” I have yet to be bold enough to disclose) I smiled and laughed as I drove away, so fully satiated by how it all ended. And then I felt it. That familiar sensation that feels like someone is putting their hand down your throat and pulling all the air out. To no one’s surprise, I’m sure, I cried. I cried like you do when an old friend moves away and you so wish they wouldn’t.
Don’t let my current unrest fool you. I feel fulfilled…damn fulfilled… by how I’ve lived the past year. I feel jubilent that I finished my list, and did so with nothing less than a full-blown fireworks display. I’m just a bit wistful. And like any good traveller, am wondering where my next destination will be will be and how quickly I can get there. Stay tuned. I’m pretty sure my next departure is on the horizon.