– Contributed by Wee C
It’s Spring and I’m restless. And wistful. And desperate for something more. I look outside and see the buds popping on the trees, I see the activity in the park near our condo exploding. Friends are traveling and I am green with envy. Girls are getting pedicures to make their toes summer-ready. Inappropriate clothes are being worn at disturbing rates. Truly disturbing. And I drive with the roof of my car open every chance I get, hoping the fresh air will bring me something new and exciting. I want more.
See, I’ve always felt as though I’ve been destined for something big. Don’t ask me what big is…whether it’s writing a blog that changes the world (wishful thinking, yes?), living in a foreign destination or simply becoming a great cook. But the sense that life has something bigger in store for me has been omnipresent through my entire life. Please don’t misinterpret this for a lack of gratefulness or joy. I live a life that is beyond blessed and I could cry with all the gratitude I have for everything I have been granted. And if you know me at all, you know that’s I just welled up writing that line.
But here’s the thing. I don’t believe myself to be alone in this sentiment. Every person from my generation and the next seems to be experiencing the same feelings. We ALL have a sense of being destined for something great. We ALL want something more. And yet, somehow, we all seem to feel terribly alone in this sentiment. As if no one else in the entire world has experienced the deep sense of desire that comes from desperately wanting to live a life unlike your parents or your friends…or your own.
We are restless souls – not wanting to work our lives away, and yet still wanting everything we want. We want ultimate success and ultimate freedom all at the same time. We want to live free from the desire to have worldly goods and yet we want every.possible item we can get our grubby little hands on. We want to drive Land Rovers, but also scooters. We want to run away to fabulous destinations, but continue to create homes worthy of magazine covers. We want the bodies of Ryan Reynolds or Jennifer Garner, but indulge in decadent brunches and lunches and dinners, often all in the same day.
I can’t presume to understand the societal and cultural conditions that cause this. Oh, I’m sure there is a sociologist, psychologist, anthropologist who could help me out. But, frankly, I don’t much care. I’ve tried to reason my way through these feelings…as I’m sure many of you have. And what I’ve recently concluded is that this restlessness that I’ve often felt is such a heavy burden to carry (my how difficult my life is), is actually something that needs to be added to my blessings list. So today, I’m thankful. Thankful that every morning I get up and want more for my life. Thankful that every morning I get up with the potential that today could be the day that something big, or little, happens – and it often does. Thankful that I have not reached a point where I am so content that I am complacent. And thankful to be surrounded by like-minded individuals who share my sense of confusion and lack of knowing, but are valiant in their commitment to do something more with their lives.
With 37 days and 10 things left to do on my list of 30 Things, perhaps the next big thing is waiting for me just around the corner. How about you?